Hurt brings Beauty

Someone brillant once told me (my husband actually...) that you can see God's hand best when you look backwards at your life.
God takes the hurts, the bad situations in your life and redeems them, using them for good. So then I began to think...about the times in my life that were "bad." My life has been pretty blessed. I was a pretty good kid. In junior high, I was the quiet type, who did my homework every night, kept my room clean and secretly still liked my dolls. I was tall and skinny with shiny braces and obnoxious bangs.When I look at old photographs of me in my spandex leggings and neatly tucked in shirt, it makes me cringe. I wouldn't call myself a real "nerd" because the girls I hung around with were actually pretty popular; but they were childhood friends that I hung out with my default, and I often wonder how I was included at all. But I think people saw me as the "nice, quiet, goody-two-shoes" girl in class. Nonetheless, I was extremly shy and self conscious. I was constantly trying to fit in with my friends-who were a little "edgy" and "mature" for their age-and still keep the innocent, consiancious girl I was deep inside. I see my Jr. High years as probably the most trying time in my life. The constant tension I felt between wanting despertly to fit in and my true innocence was intense and tiring. To put it simply, I hated Jr. High and I vowed never to return to it.
Ha ha...and so God has a sense of humor once again because where do I find myself pouring my energy into everyday...the Jr. High kids in a Jr. High School.
But then I look back and I do see God's hand at work, even in the darkest, most wearing moments; perhaps he was allowing my heart to be torn. For if my heart was always whole and I did not experience the pain for myself, how could I ever relate or love the ones I am working with right now?